VSCC Madresfield – The Pork Chop and Plenty of Vintage Fun
Sunday 13 September saw the Vintage Sports-Car Club return to Madresfield for one of the more unusual events on the VSCC calendar.
There are no grids, no chequered flags and no high-speed runs here. Instead, Madresfield is all about precision, car control and, perhaps most importantly, remembering exactly where you are supposed to be going.
The annual VSCC Madresfield Driving Tests bring together a wonderful mixture of vintage machinery, with competitors tackling a series of timed challenges against the stopwatch. Each test requires a different combination of stopping, starting, manoeuvring and reversing, and although it can all look fairly relaxed from the sidelines, getting it right is another matter entirely.
Competitors only get one run that counts towards the results, with penalties waiting for anyone who gets the test wrong, so there is still plenty of pressure once the flag drops.
Why did the pheasant cross the road?
Before getting anywhere near the infamous Pork Chop, Madresfield had already provided one of those moments that could only really happen at a VSCC event. As the vintage cars made their way between the tests, a game bird decided that the course was also the perfect place for a leisurely stroll.
Why did the pheasant cross the road?
At Madresfield, apparently because several vintage cars were waiting to come the other way.
It summed up the relaxed nature of the event perfectly. Beautiful old machinery, competitors concentrating on the next test and local wildlife wandering through the middle of proceedings as though it had every right to be there.
The infamous Pork Chop
The Pork Chop Test remains one of Madresfield’s most recognisable challenges, although this year the organisers swapped the traditional pork chop for something rather more squeaky – a toy burger.
It has become something of a VSCC institution and is one of those challenges that sounds simple until you actually watch somebody attempt it.
The test involves the competitor manoeuvring forwards and backwards around the appropriately shaped obstacle, effectively performing a tight shimmy while trying to place a large, and sometimes rather reluctant, vintage car exactly where it needs to go.
That means finding reverse gear quickly, judging the corners of a car built long before parking sensors were even imaginable, and doing the whole thing against the clock.
The VSCC has even described it as the “fearsome forward and backwards pork chop test”, and once you watch a few competitors tackle it you soon understand why.
Some of the smaller sporting cars can be flicked around the obstacle with surprising agility, while the larger touring cars require a rather different technique. Plenty of steering lock, a good look over the shoulder and occasionally a little encouragement from the passenger all become part of the entertainment.
And of course, getting around the squeaky toy quickly is only half the job. Accuracy matters just as much.
Roger Collings – No. 40 Zust Brixia
One pairing attracting plenty of attention was Roger Collings in the No. 40 Zust Brixia.
With Roger behind the wheel, the Zust was exactly the sort of machine that makes a VSCC event so enjoyable to photograph. Seeing an important vintage car parked neatly at a show is one thing; watching a skilled driver hustle it competitively through a driving test is something else entirely.
The sight of the big Zust negotiating its way around the Burger – or perhaps more accurately the squeaky Burger, was vintage motoring at its best.
Emma Righton – No. 30 Ford Model A Phaeton
Another competitor taking on the Madresfield challenges was Emma Righton in the No. 30 Ford Model A Phaeton.
The upright Ford might not immediately look like the obvious choice for a timed driving test, but that is exactly where the attraction lies. Watching the Model A driver thread the car between markers, nail a precise stop and quickly select reverse creates a completely different spectacle from conventional motorsport.
It is not simply about speed. It is about knowing the size of the car, understanding how quickly it will respond and judging exactly how much room you have before collecting something you would really rather leave standing.
Tom Wood – No. 2 Aston Martin Mk II
Providing a more sporting contrast was Tom Wood in the No. 2 Aston Martin Mk II. The Aston looked completely at home among the collection of pre-war machinery and demonstrated another side of the Madresfield entry.
While the larger cars demanded a measured approach, Tom Wood attacked the tests with the Aston, throwing it through the tight manoeuvres with plenty of pace, precision and enthusiasm.
That variety is one of the great strengths of a VSCC driving test. You can go from watching an imposing early touring car carefully working its way around the Burger to a lightweight sporting machine attacking exactly the same challenge moments later.
Madresfield atmosphere
Madresfield itself also adds enormously to the atmosphere. The tests take place in the grounds of Madresfield Court, and the combination of historic surroundings, vintage cars and the relaxed VSCC paddock gives the whole meeting the feeling of stepping back into a much earlier period of British motorsport.
There is time to wander between the cars, speak to competitors and take in the engineering before another engine fires into life and heads towards the next test.
It is motorsport stripped back to its basics. A stopwatch, a handful of markers, some difficult instructions, a field full of remarkable old cars and the occasional game bird running between them. And then somebody puts a squeaky toy burger in the middle of it.
Just another Sunday with the VSCC.
